My Top 10 Horror Remakes

I know, I know. Not everybody's a fan of remakes. But I sure am. Here's a list of my top 10 favorite horror remakes of all time:

1) The Fly (1986)- The 1958 Vincent Price favorite was one of the cheesiest movies I had ever seen. The 1986 reimagining directed by David Cronenberg is anything but cheesy. Seth Brundle is a scientist who has created a stroke of genius in his new teleportation machine. And with the help of his journalist lover, Veronica Quaife, he seeks out to improve his invention by teleporting himself. The bad news is that a fly gets caught in the machine with Brundle, and therefore, this man slowly turns into a terrifying insect. Next to stellar casting, especially Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis as Brundle and Veronica, and slowly built tension, the movie is guaranteed to shock any viewer, especially when we get to see Brundle transform.


2) The Thing (1982)- I have never seen the original film, but John Carpenter's remake is definitely one of the best out there. Kurt Russell and his comrades are doing a project in Antarctica when they discover a ship believed to be 1000 years old. Russell and company should have kept away from the ship, because an alien being has stumbled into the base, taking on the form of any man there and attacking the next. What Carpenter does with his version of "The Thing" is bring a terrible sense of paranoia to the viewer. We never know who is The Thing and who is human, which is what makes the movie so scary. Also, atmosphere is big here. You are in the middle of nowhere with a huge problem on your hands, and no matter how loud you scream, nobody is going to be there to help. Overall, a winner from the director of "Halloween," "The Fog," and "Christine."


3) My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)- The original 1981 slasher flick is a cult favorite, and personally, the remake is possibly just as good. It's been ten years since Harry Warden savagely killed people in the Hanniger Mines, and Tom Hanniger is finally returning to his hometown of Harmony to sell the mine, only to discover that everything has changed and his girlfriend Sarah has married his nemesis, Sheriff Axel Palmer. As Valentine's Day approaches, other people are brutally murdered with a pickaxe. Could it be that Harry Warden is alive and back for revenge? "MBV3D" is just one great time at the movies, and is best seen in 3D. Filled with blood, guts, a great cast(including Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, and Kerr Smith), an original story, and one of the most gratuitous and hilarious nude scenes of all time, "My Bloody Valentine 3D" will not break your heart.


4) The Last House on the Left (2009)- This remake is better than Wes Craven's original film by far. "Last House" is brutal and terrifying, and brings a realistic tone to a frightening plot. When teenage girl Mari Collingwood and her friend Paige befriend a soft-spoken boy named Justin in a hotel room, they are thrust into a death trap with three maniacal criminals who rape and torture the two girls. After Mari is left for dead, the criminals hide out in the home of John and Emma, Mari's parents! And When John and Emma find their half-dead daughter at their door, they gather all of their strength to make these people pay for what they've done. Nicely directed, and perfectly cast, especially Tony Goldwyn as John, Monica Potter as Emma, Garrett Dillahunt as Krug, and Sara Paxton as Mari. Brace yourself!


5) Halloween (2007)- You know the story of Michael Myers. Many have hated it, but I really like Rob Zombie's vision of a classic film, which takes an original and odd approach to this iconic boogeyman. If you don't compare it to John Carpenter's "Halloween," then you and Zombie fans will definitely like this.


6) Halloween 2 (2009)- Actually, this one isn't a remake. Rob Zombie's sequel to his 2007 vision is his own movie completely. Scout Taylor Compton actually improves on her version of Laurie Strode in this one, bringing a tragic and weird side to the character. And it's always a pleasure to see Malcolm MacDowell(Alex De Large of "A Clockwork Orange") and Danielle Harris, "Halloween" heroine extraordinaire. If you want a fresh and completely different take on Michael Myers, then you have hit the jackpot with "H2."


7) The Hills Have Eyes (2006)- My first horror movie experience in the theater, this one was unbearable to watch, but in a good way. It's a pretty simple story: Family gets stuck in the middle of the desert, and are attacked overnight by a group of psychotic cannibals. After the attack, the family fights back and decides to cash the check on these freaks. Intense and gruesome, this is the second hit remake in Wes Craven's repertoire. Not for the faint of heart.


8) Friday the 13th (2009)- Ch, ch, ch, ch. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Jason fans, rejoice! This homage to the first four "Friday" is pure gold. On our trip back to Camp Crystal Lake, we are introduced to a much more intimidating and frightening Jason Voorhees and a cast of teens partying down by the lake. Lots of nudity, good kills, a little bit of stoner comedy, and a creepy killer all highlight this entry that is the complete opposite of what its title suggests.

9) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)- Michael Bay's first horror trip is not the original, but it almost equals it. Kids driving through Texas to catch a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert stumble upon an old house, belonging to our good friend Leatherface, a serial killer who skins his victims and uses their faces for masks. The cast does a good job, including "7th Heaven" star Jessia Biel and the frightening R. Lee Ermey, the chainsaw is used to the hilt, and there's plenty of scares and gore for the fans.

10) A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)- Nine, ten, he's back again. Freddy's back to stalk a few Springwood teens on Elm Street in their dreams. If you die in your dreams, you die in reality, and it's up to Nancy to stop Freddy once and for all. With the interesting concept of micro-naps, there are times when you don't know whether a character is dreaming or not, making the movie scarier. As for Freddy, star Jackie Earle Haley("Breaking Away," "Little Children," "Watchmen," and "Shutter Island") fits the role perfectly, eliminating some of Englund's stale wisecracks from the sequels and trading it in for dead-on creepiness. Directed by music video vet Samuel Bayer, this trip down Elm Street should be taken more than once. It's that good!